Phew… Where do I start?
It’s been a while since the last post. 2 months have passed since then. How’s life?
Mysterious, I guess… Yes, it’s always been a mystery for me. Remember my idea about writing short stories? 🙂 *chuckles* I don’t think I will write other stories besides the first one. Frankly speaking, my friend, I just want to write MY STORY. Yup, that first story I wrote, Tidur, was just a slice of my own story. I just… want to put my thoughts in something tangible. A note. A story. A blog. Yes, this blog.
And so, for this post, I like to tell you another story in my life. Its title, “Hanya Isyarat”, means mere signs. It is a story about how a man tries to convey something to the world, how he is willing to give all of his possession for one thing…
Today is the 2nd day of ICN 2015 Main-committee Recruitment. I would extremely like to apply for a main-committee place. I want to be the Play Director in ICN 2015, though they change the name to Act Director now. However, two days ago, I received a call from my parent and told not to join ICN anymore, as I have promised to them before. Why do they know about it? *sigh* I cannot hold myself back whenever I am in the phone storytelling my life in NTU to them. And so they knew about my intention. I tried and tried to persuade them about how I am able to take the responsibility as a student and as an Act Director. Telling them that I will never fail the semester again. That I will get First Class grades in the end of the semester. But none of them was appreciated. And after I had almost cried explaining that I did not get bad grades due to ICN, that I will be able to manage my time in the future, that I was dead serious studying, my phone suddenly was out of battery.
I was heartbroken.
One day before the phone call was when ICN Information Session was held. I came with some friends of my batch to TR+107, the venue ( initially, it’s TR+108 but for some reasons they changed it ). There were a lot of people inside the tutorial room. Mostly freshmen. My friends and I sat in one of the corners. Then, we listened to Christiandy, the producer, as he explained to us the vision and mission of ICN, the organisational structure of ICN, and the things we are going to do in the committee. I put all of my attention as the Top 6 explained the available positions, while jotting down every detail I heard. I had been interested in becoming a main-committee since ICN 2014 ended. I wanted to work with people with different background and different talent. I was enthusiastic.
And here we are, today, 19th September. I think the Top 6 are still discussing about the people coming down for the interview today as I write this post. I hate to have regrets in my life but I have to admit I regretted it. I regret I didn’t study well enough to maintain my GPA in my 2nd year. Not the grades of one semester, but of two semesters gone haywire. And that is actually the reason my parents won’t let me join ICN anymore. If only, I got good grades for both semesters, not excellent, not perfect, just good enough to have 2nd Upper Class CGPA, then I will surely go for Act Director position. *sigh* Lastly, I hope for the Top 6 to be able to find capable and responsible people in each position. And wish those people would give their best in ICN 2015. 😀
As for me, I will just settle down in my room for a looooong time..
How is your life so far?
Aku justru orang yang paling bersedih,
Karena aku tahu, apa yang gak bakalan pernah bisa aku miliki
(Rasakanlah) Isyarat yang sanggup kau rasa tanpa perlu kau sentuh
(Rasakanlah) Harapan, impian,yang hidup hanya untuk sekejap
(Rasakanlah) Langit, hujan, detak, hangat nafasku
(Rasakanlah) Isyarat yang mampu kau tangkap tanpa perlu kuucap,
(Rasakanlah) Air, udara, bulan, bintang, angin, malam, ruang, waktu, puisi
Itulah saja cara yang bisa
Untuk menghayatimu… Untuk mencintaimu…
-Penggalan lirik lagu ‘’Hanya Isyarat’ cipt. Dewi Lestari-